The best non-religious wedding readings
Image by Natalie Coultas
I’ve been a wedding celebrant for five years now, and every year my couples introduce me to more incredible readings that personalise their Humanist wedding ceremony, adding layers of meaning. Some are poignant, some are funny, some are poetry and others prose; all of them add to the emotional impact of the ceremony and help convey a nearly wed couple’s feelings without being mushy!
Whether you’re looking for something romantic, humorous, philosophical, musical or deeply personal, there’s a non-religious wedding reading that will perfectly sum up what love and marriage mean to you.
My list of favourite readings that I share with my couples gets longer every year - here are some of my current faves!
I will love you forever from The Amber Spyglass, by Philip Pullman
“I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… we’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight…”
Philip Pullman is my favourite author and a patron of Humanists UK, so he was always going to appear on my list of gorgeous wedding readings! This reading from The Amber Spyglass is powerfully evocative of the eternal nature of love.
Excerpt from The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
‘When things get difficult remember who you are.'
'Who am I?' asked the boy.
'You are loved' said the horse.
‘Is your glass half empty or half full?’ asked the mole.
‘I think I’m grateful to have a glass,’ said the boy.
‘What’s your best discovery?’ asked the mole.
‘That I’m enough as I am,’ said the boy.
‘I’ve realised why we are here’ whispered the boy.
‘For cake?’ asked the mole.
‘To love,’ said the boy.
‘And to be loved,’ said the mole.
I compiled this reading from favourite lines from the beautiful book, The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse by Charlie Mackesy. It has the perfect mix of optimism, whimsy and cake, which in my mind makes for a memorable non-religious wedding ceremony reading.
We’ll be friends forever from The House at Pooh Corner, by A.A. Milne
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.
“Even longer,” Pooh answered. “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”
There’s something about children’s literature that allows us to discuss the big themes of love and friendship in a very sweet way, without becoming overly soppy and flowery. I prefer simple, clear language, and will always recommend unpretentious readings that are easy for wedding guests to relate to.
Image by Jenna Kathleen
A Love Sonnet by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
I Love You by Roy Croft
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Wild Geese is a beautiful excerpt about love and acceptance; perfect themes for a non-religious wedding reading. It’s also a great wedding reading for an adventurous couple, evoking the wonders of the world as it does.
Love is by Dorothy McMahon
Love is day after day as the years unroll
Love is not defeated by ordinariness and responsibilities.
Love is a flame of passionate life which takes many forms:
a walking with each other; a holding of each other;
a faithfulness to each other which weathers the journeying;
a common life enhanced and enjoyed;
difference brought into respectful embrace.
Love defies the challenges, and defines belonging.
Love is an act of recognition and determination,
A commitment to live on in a rich and vivid tapestry of life together.
This poem by Dorothy McMahon reflects on the many sides of love, bringing a seriousness into the wedding ceremony. I can imagine it slowing a ceremony down, bringing the focus to the reason everybody has gathered together: to witness two people making a serious commitment to each other.
‘For Marriage’ by John O’Donohue
As spring unfolds the dream of the earth,
May you bring each other's hearts to birth.
As the ocean finds calm in view of land,
May you love the gaze of each other's mind.
As the wind arises free and wild,
May nothing negative control your lives.
As kindly as moonlight might search the dark,
So gentle may you be when light grows scarce.
As surprised as the silence that music opens,
May your words for each other be touched with reverence.
As warmly as the air draws in the light,
May you welcome each other's every gift.
As elegant as dream absorbing the night,
May sleep find you clear of anger and hurt.
As twilight harvests all the day's colour,
May love bring you home to each other.
I like to use this wedding reading almost as a blessing, drawing together all our hopes and wishes for a newly wed couple and gently reminding them how they have the tools to make their marriage successful. Evocative and grounding, it appeals to the senses resulting in a truly emotive wedding ceremony reading.
Image by Rachel Bielby
If This isn’t Nice, What Is? by Kurt Vonnegut
My Uncle Alex, who is up in Heaven now, one of the things he found objectionable about human beings was that they so rarely noticed it when times were sweet. We could be drinking lemonade in the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, "If this isn't nice, what is?"
So I hope that you will do the same for the rest of your lives. When things are going sweetly and peacefully, please pause a moment, and then say out loud, "If this isn't nice, what is?”
Though this reading mentions heaven, Kurt Vonnegut was a prominent Humanist who believed in acting ethically. This short wedding reading reminds us of the importance of noticing when things are good, and appreciating the little things - perfect advice for newlyweds!
A Vow by Wendy Cope
I cannot promise to never be angry;
I cannot promise always to be kind.
You know what you are taking on, my darling
It’s only at the start that love is blind.
And yet I’m still the one you want to be with
And you’re the one for me – of that I’m sure.
You are my closest friend, my favourite person,
The lover and the home I’ve waited for.
I cannot promise that I will deserve you
From this day on. I hope to pass the test.
I love you and I want to make you happy.
I promise I will do my very best.
This simple poem makes the perfect wedding reading for a couple who have known each other a long time, and who are marrying with certain that they love each other in spite of each other’s flaws.
Mouthful of Forevers by Clementine Von Radics
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of "forevers".
We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin.
Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we'd given up on asking love to come.
I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I'm hope.
Are arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin.
I will write novels to the scar of your nose.
I will write a dictionary of all the worlds I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.
And I will not be afraid of your scars.
I know sometimes it' still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know:
Whether it's the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap,
Your body broken into a thousand questions,
You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
Maybe... we are supposed to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one,
So that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Maybe... it is true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it. But it's also true that we don't know what we've bee missing until it arrives.
Maybe... the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Maybe... the best kind of love is the kind you can sit on a sofa together and never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever hand.
Maybe... you shouldn't go for looks. They can deceive. Don't go for wealth. Even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile; because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Maybe... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet,
Enough trials to make you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human
And enough hope to make you happy.
Maybe...
Love is not about finding the perfect person.
It's about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Finding the perfect wedding reading for couples who have been married before, or who have experienced loss can be tricky. I love how this poem acknowledges the very real difficulties people have experienced, before celebrating the human heart’s ability to grow, to find new love and to heal.
You Can’t Analyse Love from Star Trek Voyager
Commander, I don’t think you can analyse love.
It’s the greatest mystery of all.
No one knows why it happens or doesn’t.
Love is a chance combination of elements.
Any one thing might be enough to keep it from igniting - a mood, a glance… A remark.
And if we could define love… predict it… it would probably lose its power.
The perfect alternative wedding reading for sci-fi nerds, this short and sweet reading addresses the mystery of love.
I Wanna Be Yours by John Cooper Clarke
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours
I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion
Wedding poems don’t have to be serious - they can be positive and fun! John Cooper Clarke is known as the punk rock poet, and I Wanna Be Yours has become something of an essential at modern, non-religious weddings. Using everyday words and familiar objects, he reminds us of the all-encompassing nature of love and desire.
I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.
Thoughts on Zelda by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Image by Natalie Hamilton
Relativity by Albert Einstein
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special person for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.
Another perfect wedding reading for science lovers! This succinct Albert Einstein wedding reading perfectly sums up the inexplicable nature of finding that special person you want to be with all the time.
Thinking of using these readings in your wedding ceremony? I’d love to hear from you!
Drop me a line to talk about next steps. I’d love to find out more about your relationship and guide you through creating your perfect wedding ceremony!
