Thinking sustainably about weddings: how to have a wedding that is intentional, environmental and filled with joy

If you’re having a Humanist wedding ceremony you probably want to incorporate your strong values into your decision making. Some aspects of weddings - the travel, the emphasis on buying new things, and the consumption - can make it feel like an environmentally sustainable wedding is an oxymoron! But there are many positive steps you can take when planning your green wedding - these are some of the best I have seen while working as a  Humanist wedding celebrant…

1. Re-use where possible

Allison and Mark had a summer wedding at York’s Hospitium. Allison wore her beloved grandmother’s 1953 cocktail dress, saying it was “the epitome of my sense of style” and a connection to the woman who inspired her interest in sewing. Allison repaired, adapted and resized the wedding dress to fit her. Allison also made her husband’s tie from scrap fabric found in her grandmother’s home, using the fabric’s colour and pattern to inspire the wedding stationery. This was an incredibly moving tribute to a woman she loved.

Allison’s meaningful, sustainable and totally beautiful wedding dress.

Not everybody has Allison’s incredible seamstress skills, but you can shop for second hand wedding outfits and have them professionally tailored to fit you. Bridal Reloved has bridal shops all over England - including one in York -  specialising in preloved wedding dresses and many larger Oxfam branches have bridal departments. Look at your usual selling sites such as Facebook market place and Ebay, but also try directories like Stillwhite and Rock My Wedding. The latter can be used not just for wedding dresses, but also for buying wedding decorations and props. These can often be found on local selling groups too.

There are many companies that hire out wedding decorations too, meaning you’re not stuck with 12 candle holders, 2 oversized trees and an abundance of vases! These companies often set up and style venues, freeing up your wedding prep time for other things. You can even hire umbrellas for your wedding guests, perfect if you’re marrying outdoors in the great British weather! 

2. Shop locally and seasonally

Choosing locally based wedding suppliers where possible reduces your wedding’s mileage, helping to keep your carbon footprint down, as well as boosting your local economy.

Wedding flowers are a particularly extreme example of this. If a flower cannot be grown locally in the UK in the season you are getting married, chances are it has been flown in from abroad, often the Netherlands and Kenya. Shockingly, a flower stem grown abroad generates between 3 and 57 times as much carbon as a stem grown in Britain - imagine how many flowers are involved in your typical bridal bouquet, bridesmaids’ bouquets and table arrangements! Several couples I have worked with recently have chosen local flower growers who grow their own flowers here in Yorkshire.

Photographs by Natalie Coultas.

Georgina and Sam said their wedding vows in front of a simple archway of leafy green foliage. Their beautiful Thirsk garden wedding introduced me to Farmer Florist Suzie of Picked at Dawn, based in Kilburn, North Yorkshire. Suzie creates seasonal floristry using British grown flowers and foliage, mostly grown by herself in North Yorkshire.

The stunning colours, textures and shapes found in this wedding’s florals prove that you can choose seasonal, environmentally sustainable, locally grown wedding flowers without compromising your vision.

The principle of shopping locally can be applied to all your wedding suppliers, whether it’s flowers, furnishings or food. Which brings me to my next point…

3. Think about food waste

Nobody hates being hungry at weddings more than me! It’s my greatest fear. And weddings are a celebration, a coming together of people. That’s really important. Nothing connects people like food.

However. I was shocked by the scale of food waste at my own wedding, in spite of having tried to avoid food waste. I have noticed how often at weddings, the cake is served at the point when people are so stuffed with food and drink that the thought of cake turns their stomach. Venue staff put out the cake, polite people nibble the cake, and venue staff clear the mostly uneaten wedding cake away. We chose not to serve a pudding at our wedding, and instead to cut the cake after the meal. Even with this measure, we left for our honeymoon carrying a medically unsafe quantity of cake, which we munched through for several days before mould began to form on the icing. Even without a dessert and having ordered the right quantity of cake, we still had excess. A better path would have been to freeze the wedding cake - learn from our foolishness!

We used caterers to cook and serve our wedding breakfast. The next day, I was surprised to find they had filled several black bin liners with uneaten curries! Had I known I might have arranged for it to be stored or distributed - but it had not occurred to me to ask about leftover food. So, ask! Be specific with your caterers about how much food you need, ask them what happens to their leftovers, encourage them to share it among staff or find a way to box it up for you.

I loved Claire and Nick’s clever idea of serving their wedding cake with champagne at their drinks reception - giving guests a sugary pick me up just when they need it, and avoiding cake being overlooked at the end of the night.

4. Ask, ‘What’s that made of? How is it made? Where does it come from?’

Don’t be afraid to discuss your values with your wedding suppliers and make sure that you are aligned regarding environmental sustainability. If it is important to you, they will be open to discussion and either already have solutions, or be willing to change their processes.

An easy example of this is oasis, the green floral foam beloved of florists for decades. As well as being a single-use plastic, it is made from phenol and formaldehyde, which is harmful to humans and animals. Responsible florists no longer use it, but more traditional ones might, so it is always worth double checking.

Bride Frankie with her ethically and sustainably dressed bridesmaids.
Image by Paul Joseph Photography.

My Spring 2022 bride Frankie runs To Be Frank, an environmentally conscious fashion brand and consultancy. Naturally, in planning her own wedding she aimed to be as sustainable as possible. She made her own bridesmaids’ dresses using Cupro, a fabric made from waste cotton fibres and viscose made from wood pulp. The fabrics were vegetable dyed and no enzyme washing was used, making them much kinder to the environment. This fabric had a gorgeous texture which looked very luxe, so choosing the sustainable option was no compromise on taste!
If you’re worried about bridesmaids’ dresses only being worn once, try to choose easily wearable styles and aim for fabrics that don’t contain synthetic materials such as microplastics.

The trend for getting ready photos has led to a pressure for matching robes or pyjamas for the bridal party. If you’re buying pyjamas to bridesmaids for this purpose, try to buy things that are well made. Many cheaply made clothes are made by poorly paid workers in terrible conditions, often using materials and processes that are harmful to the environment. You could make the pyjamas part of your thank you gift to allow you to spend more than you otherwise might. Choose the best you can afford, or consider asking people to wear a particular colour to give a cohesive appearance to getting ready photos.

Don’t buy flip flops for guests in high heels. They always get left behind, and quickly end up in the bin.

5. Do you really need it? Will anyone notice if it’s not there?

There’s a lot of pressure around ‘shoulds’ when you’re getting married, and not all of them are helpful if you’re trying to have an environmentally sustainable wedding! You should give wedding favours, you should have a wedding list, you should wear matching pyjamas when getting ready… I would say, if these things give you joy and can be done in as sustainable a way as possible, go for it!

A lot of wedding favours just get left behind by partying wedding guests, so aim for things that can be consumed; homemade jams or spirits in glass jars, a secondhand book chosen especially for that guest, a little snack they eat there and then. I have seen beautiful cupcakes doubling up as wedding favours and table decor - again, cutting down on waste and manufacturing.

Some couples choose to make a donation to charity instead, or just simply avoid doing wedding favours.

So many couples live together before marriage these days, the idea of a wedding list to help set up your home seems faintly quaint. Yet there is something special about choosing heirloom items that will last your entire marriage, and I wouldn’t deny anyone that pleasure. Alternative gift registries give couples the chance to ask for contributions to their honeymoon, charities or big ticket purchases in a more meaningful way than just asking for cash - ideal for anyone who is reluctant to bring more mass produced stuff into their lives. Prezola is a good example of this kind of wedding gift list.

6. Give back to nature

You might like to acknowledge your love of nature and environmentalism in your ceremony itself. Many couples I work with explicitly reference caring for the planet in their values, and so I discuss it within their wedding ceremony as being important to them. Talking about your values might influence the behaviour and thinking of your guests in their own lives. But you can also choose to marry symbolism with practical action, planting a tree together during your ceremony (either in the earth if you’re marrying at home, or in a large pot). Or consider giving wildflower seeds to guests as wedding favours. If you can’t plant a tree as part of your wedding ceremony, consider doing this in commemoration of your wedding - we planted a crab apple tree one year for our anniversary.

As a wedding celebrant with a love of trees and a commitment to nature, I donate to a tree planting fund for every couple I wed - so for every wedding I do, another tree goes in the ground! It’s immensely satisfying to think of all the carbon that’s being captured by this little act, and the habitat that’s being provided for nature. A simple donation to a relevant charity in lieu of wedding favours could add to the sustainability of your wedding day.

I donate to the Woodland Trust’s tree planting fund every time I conduct a wedding - there’s a whole Ceremonies with Rachael woodland there by now!

7. Think about travel

One of the biggest impacts weddings have on the environment is by encouraging people to travel. And getting together is super important, arguably our need for contact and celebration is what makes us human. Encourage your guests to car share or use sustainable transport like rail where possible. Make it easy for them; introduce neighbours to each other and provide detailed information on railway stations. You might choose to arrange a single bus to transport guests to your venue if it is in a remote location, rather than having multiple half empty cars and taxis on the road.

And when it comes to your own honeymoon, consider whether you need to fly. Increasingly couples are choosing to enjoy ‘slow travel’ holidays, where they use rail and public transport to get around instead of flights. This can allow you to view several countries like a local, enjoy beautiful vistas from your train seat and just enjoy being together.

Finally… Your wedding day will be beautiful and meaningful because of the people you bring together, the promises you make and the sincerity of your intentions. You deserve to celebrate it guiltfree. These little shifts can help lessen the negative impact of your wedding day, and allow you to celebrate your marriage in accordance with your values. Priceless!

With creativity and a little forethought, sustainable weddings can be beautiful, joyous occasions that resonate with your own values as a couple.